NEWS CENTER Maine -- There are things we love and believe we need to do. Our partner expresses irritation over how devoted we are to those things. Now what?
“First off,” says Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Jack Burke, “It's easy for both sides to misinterpret the situation. It’s unlikely your husband loves running more than he loves you. And it’s probably not accurate to say that your wife hates football just because she questions how much time you spend watching it.”
Burke says, the good news is, these are the times for great conversations between partners. But, to succeed, we need to know how to listen empathetically. “Try to understand how your partner is feeling and refrain from being defensive or jumping in the explain your point of view,” says Burke, “And once you’ve heard what they have to say, you can ask what they need, what would make the situation better for them.”
Burke also suggests that you can use the traits that make you so devoted to your pastime to rev up your relationship: “Instead of giving up your obsessive dedication to running, for example, just add an equally obsessive devotion to date night.”