PORTLAND (NEWS CENTER Maine) -- No doubt about it, the planning and execution of a modern wedding can cause a lot of stress. There are countless details to be tended to, not to mention family dynamics. So how can we stay sane and maybe even enjoy the process?
Licensed marriage and family therapist Jack Burke offers three things to consider as you plan the big day:
1. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM THIS WEDDING? Ask each other, "Why this ritual?" When the two of you talk, start with what you want from the ceremony. Make a list of the top five priorities. Write them down. Take them out and review them when a family war has started over the venue or the cake.
2. DECISION MAKING: We are not all talented at planning and organizing. So, whose advice will you listen to? We each have a decision-making style. Some are decisive, others seek consensus, others are deferential. Decide with your partner whom you would like to help with decision making. Without clear boundaries, this is where a lot of folks end up feeling as though they lost control of their own wedding.
3. PERFECTIONISM AND REFRAMING: Of course we would like the event to be smooth and perfect. However, no plan survives intact upon its first contact with opposition (remember top priorities). It is interesting how often people tell the story of their wedding with all the things that went wrong...the minister who misspoke your name, a stumble down the aisle, the perfectionistic flower girl who strategically placed each flower petal. Often, it’s the faux pas that create memories that bind us, which is the basic goal of the ritual.
