Money. It’s one of the most common causes of friction among couples. Especially if one partner is a “saver” and the other is a “spender”. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Jack Burke says, when dealing with money matters, the goal is moderation, not a 180 in the other direction.
Burke also says our attitudes about money can often be traced back to our childhood. “Our families teach us one of two basic attitudes,” says Burke, “Either abundance, a believe that there is always going to be enough; or scarcity, a belief that we will run out and be left with nothing. And then there are also families that teach the wonderful middle ground of moderation. Frugal, but also fun!”
Burke says either extreme on the spectrum of abundance to scarcity can wreak havoc in relationships, but being stingy does the most damage. He offers these suggestions:
1. Couples have to be able to talk about it. The goal is to be moderate together. This requires the maturity to see our position as a position and not "the only way".
2. The fear that feeds stinginess needs to be exposed. You may need to work with a third party.
3. Don't lose your sense of humor. Be frugal, be moderate, and be fun. Lead the way.