(NEWS CENTER) -- Jack Burke, licensed marriage and family therapist tell us how NOT to have a good holiday.

Tension, stress and misery do not necessarily come from the event. They come from our interpretation or reaction to events.

So here are 3 ideas for consideration….How to make sure that Thanksgiving leaves you absolutely miserable!

1. Great Expectations…Expect that you will be able to present a Thanksgiving feast that is perfect in every way. Sadly , even if we did, it would be forgotten. What we do remember are the funny moments that we talk about later…like trying that corn bread, oyster, and jalapeno stuffing…

2. Compare. C. S. Lewis states that evil enters the world through the act of comparing. My turkey is good, but hers was better….I've got to find a way to do it just like she did.

3. Silence…make sure all this preparation and playing hostess goes on inside your head. Important, because sharing your specific hopes for the holiday might cause people to work together…might even help you.

Truth is, the best Thanksgiving comes with laughter…everyone doing the cooking and cleanup together.

Remember, families are based on stories. The better the stories the better the family.